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When Sinners Say "I Do" Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage

The gospel is something we need in every area of our lives.  In marriage and in singleness.  In joy and in sorrow.  In good times and in hard times.  When life feels good and when life feels confusing.  This book showed so much of my need for Jesus and His grace. It calls us to look at our own sins and not be so easy to point out the sins of those around us.   It shows the great gravity of our sins.  We can all tend to point fingers and defend or blame our sins on others or life circumstances.  I think especially today it is so easy to do this and not truly see our sins.  "It is wrong, not because of what it does to me, or my spouse, or child, or neighbor, but because it is an act of rebellion against the infinitely holy and majestic God." -Jerry Bridges "There can be no small sins against a great God." -J.I. Packer Dave Harvey mentions in the book that with true sorrow of our "little sins", our awareness of God and His mercy grow. Be quick to see our own

Contentment

Contentment.

What a great time to learn to be content.

This is something the Lord has been teaching me through all that's going on.  Contentment.  Honestly contentment has always been so hard for me.  I'm always looking at others, comparing myself, thinking about the next step, the next best thing.  I've always overthought everything.  I've always looked at others to be my source of what my life should look like.  I'm so very competitive by nature.  I'm not much of a live by the moment person, but always thinking of the future, how this will effect the next thing in my life.  I've always put so many expectations on myself.  Of what I need to get done today, what tomorrow needs to look like and always, always on what my future needs to be.
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1vFAr9sEXtgTalohERUFqTa6SMU0EtOGZ
So, when nothing looks like what I had expected today to look like as a 22 year old, I get discouraged, frustrated and confused.  I began comparing over and over again.  I began questioning myself and God.  And I doubt.  I fear.  I overthink.

Well, being stuck at home, with absolutely no idea for how long and if life will ever go back to 'normal' again,  and not being able to pursue or work towards any of my hopes or goals, my trust in the Lord is a constant battle of fear and trust.  Contentment becomes even more of a struggle.

(Honestly, even having a taste, a slight silver, of what I wanted didn't even provide contentment then)

This battle is everyday, at least a couple of times a day, of surrendering my hopes, dreams and expectations to the Lord.  Of asking for peace in the times of uncertainty.  Of growing in rest and hope in the Lord.  Of letting go of any 'control' I hope to have and trusting He is good, sovereign and loves me.  That He will provide exactly what I need, when I need it.  He hears and answers my prayers and there is so much hope and peace in knowing He knows.  And He loves us.

I'm going through a devotion on contentment now with a friend and it has been so good and is making me rethink how I've always thought of contentment:
Contentment: Seeing God's Goodness by Megan Hill.


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