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The Battle Between Truth & Feelings

"The worst battle I've ever fought is between what I knew and what I felt."How true is this?  Emotions and feelings can feel so like truth.  They can be so blinding, leading us on a goose chase to get what we think (feel) we need.  They become the thing we live for and strive after.  They can lead you away from good friendships, from the truth you grew up learning, running from good and clear counsel.  It's so dangerous to chase after your feelings, believe them to be truth over everything else- over true wisdom, truth, honesty, true love and friendship, and blind you to follow after the worlds version of truth or what your heart wants.  How scary is that. 
What we know is truth...
We know as believers that God's word is the only source of truth.  It is our anchor, our truth, what we live by.  When the world feeds us lies and these half-truths fueled to feed our sinful desires, we can always turn to God's word to lead us and guide us in our lives.  
But feelin…

Contentment

Contentment.

What a great time to learn to be content.

This is something the Lord has been teaching me through all that's going on.  Contentment.  Honestly contentment has always been so hard for me.  I'm always looking at others, comparing myself, thinking about the next step, the next best thing.  I've always overthought everything.  I've always looked at others to be my source of what my life should look like.  I'm so very competitive by nature.  I'm not much of a live by the moment person, but always thinking of the future, how this will effect the next thing in my life.  I've always put so many expectations on myself.  Of what I need to get done today, what tomorrow needs to look like and always, always on what my future needs to be.
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1vFAr9sEXtgTalohERUFqTa6SMU0EtOGZ
So, when nothing looks like what I had expected today to look like as a 22 year old, I get discouraged, frustrated and confused.  I began comparing over and over again.  I began questioning myself and God.  And I doubt.  I fear.  I overthink.

Well, being stuck at home, with absolutely no idea for how long and if life will ever go back to 'normal' again,  and not being able to pursue or work towards any of my hopes or goals, my trust in the Lord is a constant battle of fear and trust.  Contentment becomes even more of a struggle.

(Honestly, even having a taste, a slight silver, of what I wanted didn't even provide contentment then)

This battle is everyday, at least a couple of times a day, of surrendering my hopes, dreams and expectations to the Lord.  Of asking for peace in the times of uncertainty.  Of growing in rest and hope in the Lord.  Of letting go of any 'control' I hope to have and trusting He is good, sovereign and loves me.  That He will provide exactly what I need, when I need it.  He hears and answers my prayers and there is so much hope and peace in knowing He knows.  And He loves us.

I'm going through a devotion on contentment now with a friend and it has been so good and is making me rethink how I've always thought of contentment:
Contentment: Seeing God's Goodness by Megan Hill.


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