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The Battle Between Truth & Feelings

"The worst battle I've ever fought is between what I knew and what I felt."How true is this?  Emotions and feelings can feel so like truth.  They can be so blinding, leading us on a goose chase to get what we think (feel) we need.  They become the thing we live for and strive after.  They can lead you away from good friendships, from the truth you grew up learning, running from good and clear counsel.  It's so dangerous to chase after your feelings, believe them to be truth over everything else- over true wisdom, truth, honesty, true love and friendship, and blind you to follow after the worlds version of truth or what your heart wants.  How scary is that. 
What we know is truth...
We know as believers that God's word is the only source of truth.  It is our anchor, our truth, what we live by.  When the world feeds us lies and these half-truths fueled to feed our sinful desires, we can always turn to God's word to lead us and guide us in our lives.  
But feelin…

True JOY

So, I have a fantasy with romance, everything.  Novels, movies, etc...  It's been consuming lately, so much so that I've decided to take a break for a while.  I hope this will give me time to grow.  Closer to my family and to my Lord.  I hope this time will prove to help with things I've struggled with-jealousy, anger, and just getting my emotions under control.  Is that even possible for a female?  I guess I shall see.

There is so much in life, I feel like we all hope or more like expect it to be a happy roller coaster.  We see things on TV, Youtube, social media that yell at us that each person around us are truly happy and content, but then inside we all battle with things that most of us don't even understand.  We go through heart ache, hard decisions, expectations, and it's all a, well... roller coaster.


Lately I've been asking where I  find true joy.  I thought I would find it in my situations in life, but you see I'm not quite where I thought I wanted to be.  I don't have my life figured out, a goal towards a degree, a job that I thought I would have, my own place. (All worldly expectations, I should add) I'm not quite sure what I thought I would be doing at nineteen, but I'm sure this was not it.  So I've asked where do I find true JOY?  Defiantly not in me or in my situation.  I know true joy only comes from the Lord, but what does that look like?

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

Each day when I wake up I want to thank the Lord for everything.  For His saving grace, my family and my friends.  I want to thank Him for my home and the comfort He provides.  I am grateful for my jobs (no matter how stressful they may be) and school.   And in each area, there is even more to be thankful for.  The opportunity to work with my dad.  The ability to walk.  The freedom to worship and speak about God.

I'm grateful for this roller coaster of a life.  At least I pray that I will truly be joyful in Him!

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